


the scariest part is letting go (guide me home)

by seaunicorn



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Typical Violence, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24919639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaunicorn/pseuds/seaunicorn
Summary: Post-TLOU2Dina,I’m back in Jackson.I’ll be at our old spot, Saturday night at 23:00 if you want to talk and can spare a few minutes of your time. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to listen to me or ever see me again if you don’t want to. I won’t blame you if that’s the case. I understand.I’ll be there, and if you don’t show up I’ll stay away for good. I promise.EEllie returns to Jackson to heal, and hopefully, eventually, reconcile with her family.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 865





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sure there will be a million fix it fics in a month once more people finish the game, but I couldn’t wait and decided to just write one myself. Title is from the words by Christina Perri.

By the time Ellie reached her destination, the sun had set. Her feet ached from the walk and she had grown numb to the cold, early spring breeze.

She was numb to a lot of things.

Ellie walked into the clearing in front of the town’s main gates with her hands up, expecting to be met with lots of guns pointed directly at her. She was right, and stopped in her tracks when she heard the click of half a dozen rifles.

“It’s me,” she called out to whoever could hear her. “It’s Ellie.”

The hushed whispers of everyone on guard tonight was deafening. Ellie held her breath, wondering if they would let her in or turn her away. She wouldn’t blame them if she was turned away.

“The hell are you waiting for? Open the gate!”

Relief washed over Ellie at the familiar voice. Finally, she heard the loud, rusted creak as the main gates were opened. She took a tentative step forward. Maria was waiting on the other side as soon as she stepped inside. The doors closed behind her with a thud.

Ellie stood, frozen for a moment. It was surreal to be back after all this time.

“Come here, hon,” Maria said. She stepped forward and put an arm around Ellie, ushering her into town. “What the hell happened to you?”

Ellie laughed, a rough sound that she hadn’t made in a while, as relief washed over her at Maria’s welcome. “It’s a long story,” she muttered.

“Let’s get you back to my place,” Maria said. “I’ll draw a bath, make some tea. Then we can talk.”

Every eye was on Ellie as they walked through town, but Ellie didn’t care. They could stare and gossip all they wanted. She wasn’t sure if she still had a home in Jackson, but maybe she hadn’t irreparably damaged  _ every  _ relationship in her life. For now, that was enough.

The walk to Maria’s house was familiar enough. Ellie recognized the sights as they crossed through town. The stables, the playground (she spared an extra glance there to try and find a familiar face to no avail), various shops and places to eat, the library… As much as she wanted to relax now that she was back, she couldn’t. Ellie felt like she was watching herself walk through town, like she wasn’t actually there. Her limbs were moving on their own as she blindly followed Maria until they reached her front door.

Maria held open the door, letting Ellie step inside first.

“Have a seat, kid,” she muttered. “I’ll be back.

Ellie let herself be led into the living room. She took off her backpack and dropped it. One of her guns clattered as it hit the floor, skittering across the ground. She sat on the couch and glanced around the room.

It looked different than the last time she was here. A few photographs had been taken down and replaced with something new. It was neater, more clean. All of Tommy’s shit was gone.

There was one picture that remained: a framed photograph of Maria, Tommy, Joel, and Ellie on the coffee table. It was an old picture, from a few weeks after she and Joel had arrived in Jackson, and Joel had insisted on taking a “family photo”. Ellie was reluctantly dragged into the picture, but there was a smile on her face.

Ellie reached out and grabbed the framed photo, holding it in her hands, staring at it for a moment.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there before Maria came downstairs.

“Bath is ready,” she said, handing Ellie a towel. “Get yourself cleaned up.”

Ellie nodded. “Thanks,” she muttered. Her mouth was dry and her voice came out a hoarse whisper.

Upstairs, the bath water was steaming. Ellie slowly stripped out of her clothes and stepped into the tub and the heat scalded her skin, but Ellie felt numb to the heat. She had experienced far worse pain in her life. Water that’s a little too hot was nothing.

The empty space where her fingers used to be throbbed in a phantom pain. Ellie instinctively reached out to hold her fingers, but was met with only empty space and cauterized wounds. She sighed and sat down in the tub. She grabbed a washcloth and some soap and began to scrub the dirt from her body.

Some time later, there was a knock at the door. The sound startled Ellie, after the silence she felt in the bath. Her mind went blank for a moment, and briefly flashed to the thud of a golf club hitting skull, blood pouring onto the ground, his empty eyes… She took a deep breath as she felt her heart rate begin to escalate, trying to remember how Dina used to calm her down from her triggers.

After a few moments of silence, there was another knock. This time, Ellie didn’t flashback to that day.

She cleared her throat. “What’s up?”

The door opened a crack. “Brought you some clean clothes,” Maria said. She slid a small pile into the bathroom. Ellie recognized the shirt on top as a flannel that she had left in Jackson a long time ago and forgotten about. Maria must have held onto some of her clothes, just in case.

Once the dirt had been scrubbed from her skin and the water had gone tepid, she stepped out of the tub. Ellie dried herself, slowly dressed, then walked back downstairs to find Maria sitting at the dining table with, as promised, a steaming mug of tea waiting for her.

Ellie sat down and took a sip of tea. Chamomile, with a bit of honey. It warmed her insides and calmed her nerves. Maria didn’t say anything. She just sat and waited, until Ellie was ready to speak. Ellie appreciated that. She wasn’t even sure where to begin.

“I didn’t kill her.”

Maria’s face didn’t change. She just nodded as she listened. When Ellie didn’t continue, she asked, “Why?”

“It’s not what he—what Joel would have wanted,” Ellie sighed. “It’s not what I wanted.”

“So you’re back?”

Ellie nodded. “I’m back,” she said. “For good.”

Finally, Maria cracked a small smile. She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Ellie’s right hand and gave a gentle squeeze. “I’m glad to hear that,” she said. “Why don’t you stop by the doctor, get that checked out.” She gave a pointed look to the missing fingers on Elle’s left hand, the ugly, cauterized scarring on her finger stumps. “I’ll get your old place ready.”

“I have to tell Tommy. He—“

“Let me deal with Tommy,” Maria sighed. The annoyance in her voice was apparent, but she probably knew she was the only one who could talk some sense into him. “He ain’t gonna be happy, but you can talk to him after he has time to process the news.”

“Thank you, Maria.”

Ellie was grateful for the brief distraction at the doctor’s office. She answered questions about all the various injuries that littered her body, said when something hurt, flexed her hand to show what movement was left in her fingers. The doctor removed Ellie’s hastily done stitches in her side, and though it had healed, her messy field job meant that was another scar that probably wouldn’t fade. The doctor scheduled a follow-up appointment for next week.

Ellie took the long way back to her place, avoiding town square and other crowded areas. She could deal with people tomorrow. For now, she just wanted to rest.

Ellie took a path through one of the neighborhoods. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, hiding her maimed hand, feeling suddenly nervous again under the curious glances of families outside. She didn’t even realize she was walking down the street where Jesse’s parents lived until she heard the sound of a baby’s familiar laugh.

Ellie stopped in her tracks and glanced to her left where Jesse’s parents lived. Dina sat on the swinging chair on the porch with Robin. They watched as JJ sat on a blanket on the floor, Ollie clutched in his hands. Ellie’s heart clenched. When a large beetle flew by, he dropped the toy and stood to his feet. He took a few unsteady steps, then took off after the bug faster than Ellie had ever seen him move before.

_ He’s walking now. _

She missed his first steps.

He was so big, growing so fast. Ellie felt a lump in her throat as tears burned at her eyes.

Dina leapt up from her seat and scooped JJ into her arms before he could walk too far. As she held him and walked back across the porch, she glanced into the street and met eyes with Ellie, standing frozen, watching them.

Ellie couldn’t breathe.

When Dina realized it was Ellie standing there, her face twisted into something unrecognizable. Was it relief, surprise, disdain? A combination of the three?

Ellie hadn’t wanted to see her. Not now. Not yet. Just seeing the look on Dina’s face hurt too much. Ellie had hurt her family. She would only have herself to blame if Dina never spoke to her again.

And then, after a tense moment, Dina nodded. It wasn’t a smile or a wave or any sort of pleasantry. Just a nod.

What the hell did that even mean?

Instead of pondering the question for longer, Ellie fought back the tears that threatened to spill, clenched her fists, and walked away.

Ellie’s room was mostly barren. All her belongings had been moved to the farm, and she had left everything behind there. Maria had gotten fresh sheets and pillows, some new clothes in her size, and a box of some basic food and supplies to get started. She’d have to work again eventually, fill her apartment, get more things, but this was enough for the night.

As Ellie sat on her bed, she spotted something under the dresser, long-forgotten and out of sight. She crawled onto the floor and reached under for it, pulling out a Polaroid photo of her, Dina, and Jesse. She played with the worn edges for a moment, before she sighed and set it face down on her bedside table. She stripped out of her clothes and climbed into bed, pulled the blankets over her, and hugged a pillow to her chest.

The soft mattress was uncomfortable, almost alien. Ellie had been sleeping on floors, couches, or whatever surface she could find for months.

She closed her eyes, buried her face in the pillow, and replayed the sound of JJ’s bright laughter on a loop in her head.

“I miss you, Potato,” she muttered, before eventually drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_ “We can cross over here!” _

_ Ellie pushed through the trees and found, at the bank of the roaring river, a huge structure made of various bits of wood all piled together that stretched across the length of the stream. It was a little more narrow here than she had seen in other places, the waters were a little more calm, and the dam could work as a makeshift bridge to help get them across. They would just have to bring Shimmer behind them, just in case she was too heavy and it broke. _

_ Speaking of, the horse snorted as she emerged from between a few trees, Dina sitting atop her back as she scanned the area. _

_ “You cross first,” Dina said. “I’ll take Shimmer.” _

_ “No, I’ll take Shimmer.” _

_ “Ellie, I know she’s your horse, but I’m a stronger swimmer and better with animals.” _

_ Ellie tried to pout, but Dina had made up her mind. “Fine,” she grumbled. She carefully climbed atop the wooden pile, but as soon as she stepped into it, her foot slipped on a wet piece of wood. She was able to catch herself and get back on her feet quickly. She subtly glanced over her shoulder, hoping that Dina hadn’t noticed. _

_ “Damn, girl,” Dina quipped. “Looking good.” After a brief pause, she added. “Get it? Because it’s a dam.” _

_ “You’re hilarious,” Ellie said, sarcastic. _

_ “Oh come on, I’m fucking funny and you know it.” _

_ “Just keep telling yourself that, babe.” _

_ The rest of Ellie’s trek across the dam was less treacherous and she eventually stepped onto the opposite bank, unscathed. She turned around and called across the water to Dina. _

_ “Okay, I’m clear! Come across!” _

_ Dina hopped off Shimmer’s back and led her up to the bank. Dina stepped onto the dam and the horse followed after her. There was a quiet creak and the pair hesitated, but when they realized the wooden structure would support her weight, they edged forward. Ellie watched them from the other side of the river as they made their way across the makeshift bridge. _

_ When they were almost to the other side, Shimmer stepped forward and her hoof broke through the wood, splintering the branches attempting to hold her up with a sickening crack. _

_ Ellie stumbled backwards as her mind flashed back to the crack of bones under the force of a golf club. She was on the floor again, watching as Joel’s skull was bashed in and the life left his eyes. _

_ “JOEL!” Ellie cried out. “NO! JOEL!” _

_ The next thing she knew, there was an arm around her. She opened her eyes and Dina was on the ground next to her, cradling her. _

_ “You’re okay,” Dina whispered. “It’s just me. She’s not here.” _

_ Ellie couldn’t catch her breath. She was on all fours, looking down at the dirt beneath her, hyperventilating, while Dina held Ellie and rubbed her back gently, soothing her until she could breathe again and found herself back in the moment, in a forest somewhere in Idaho. _

_ Ellie sat back, leaning against a tree, and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. _

_ “Don’t apologize,” Dina said. She sat next to Ellie and placed a hand on the small of her back, rubbing in gentle circles. Ellie felt her breath begin to steady as she focused on Dina’s caring touch. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish there was more I could do for you.” _

_ Ellie glanced over at her, and while she saw the glint of fear in Dina’s eyes, she also saw a look of adoration that made her feel so loved. “You’re already doing more than I would ask for,” Ellie murmured. “Thanks.” _

_ Dina gave her a small smile, then glanced up, peeking at the sky through the canopy of trees. “It’s getting dark,” she muttered. “We should find a place to make camp for the night, and you can rest a little more.” She stood to her feet and offered a hand to Ellie. _

_ “Okay,” Ellie said, and took Dina’s hand. _

_ They found an old park ranger’s station to hole up in for the night. It was small and enclosed with only one way in and out, so it would be easy enough to barricade the door. While Ellie set up camp and got a fire started, Dina went out hunting. _

_ A couple hours later, Ellie sat by the crackling fire, warming her hands by the flames, when Dina returned with a beaver’s carcass in tow, already skinned, gutted and prepped to cook. Ellie skewered the body through a stick and propped it up over the fire, letting it sit and cook. _

_ Dina took off her backpack, her coat, her guns, and sat down across from Ellie in front of the fire. Ellie watched her. They hadn’t spoken much since Ellie had freaked out earlier. _

_ Ellie was embarrassed. She knew she had her traumas, she knew sometimes her worst memories would creep up into her brain and linger there, but Dina had never seen her panic like this before. Ellie didn’t want Dina to see her like this. She pulled her legs up to her chest and stared blankly at the flames as they danced in the darkness. _

_ “Are you okay?” Dina asked. Her voice was small, helpless. _

_ Ellie felt terrible. Dina wasn’t supposed to be taking care of her. She should be able to take care of herself. She nodded, and silence fell between them. Dina didn’t want to press anymore and make Ellie uncomfortable, and Ellie didn’t know what to say anyway. _

_ Eventually Ellie cleared her throat and spoke up, asking the question that had been on her mind all day. “Why did you come with me?” _

_ Dina frowned. “You go, I go. Remember?” _

_ “I know you said that,” Ellie sighed. “But what does that mean?” _

_ Dina was quiet for a moment. She stood to her feet, stepped closer, and sat down next to Ellie. She reached out for Ellie, intertwining their fingers, grasping her hand tight. “You’re my best friend,” she whispered. “And you’re also… so much more than that. I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not, and if I can do anything to make sure you finish this in one piece, I’ll do it. You’re my home.” _

_ Ellie wasn’t sure what she had expected to hear, but Dina’s words gave her hope. Hope that she was on the right path, hope that even with everything going on, she still had Dina. _

_ For the longest time, Ellie believed her feelings for her best friend were one-sided. Even after their kiss, she had no idea what was going on in Dina’s head. But now Dina was telling her, plain and simple, how much she cared. _

_ “I love you,” Ellie said quickly. _

_ Her cheeks flushed and her heart raced as she waited for Dina to say something. She hadn’t meant to say it, but the words just slipped out. Time seemed to stand still for a moment. Ellie couldn’t tear her eyes away from Dina’s, trying to read her expression. _

_ “Oh, Ellie,” Dina whispered, a small smile on her lips, “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now.” _

_ And Dina leaned in, closing the small distance between the two of them, and kissed Ellie softly. _

* * *

Ellie sat at her desk, chewing on the end of her pen. She scratched out a few words on the piece of paper in front of her, started writing something new, then frowned. She picked up the paper, read over her words, then crumpled the sheet into a small ball with a huff and tossed it into the garbage can. There were four other crumpled up papers inside the bin. She grabbed a new sheet of paper and tried to start fresh when there was a knock at her door.

With a sigh, Ellie stood to her feet and crossed the room. She unlocked the door and opened it a crack to find Tommy standing there.

“What do you want?” Ellie asked.

Tommy sighed. “I just wanna talk.”

Ellie studied him for a moment, searching for any anger or resentment on his face, but she found none. She opened the door a little wider and Tommy stepped inside. She gestured for him to sit on the couch, then dragged her desk chair across from him, sat down, and waited.

“Maria told me what happened,” Tommy said.

“And?”

“I-I will admit I was angry, at first,” he confessed. “That’s why I hadn’t come to see you yet. She told me not to.”

Ellie nodded. She had been back in town almost a week and was surprised that Tommy hadn’t made his presence known earlier.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy said, finally.

Ellie frowned, confused. “What are you sorry for?”

“I know it’s my fault you went to Santa Barbara. It’s my fault Dina and JJ came back to town. I know you three had something good. I’m sorry I ruined that.”

Ellie shook her head. “No, Tommy, it’s not your fault.”

“It ain’t?”

“No, I— yeah I was happy, but I couldn’t let myself appreciate it,” Ellie explained. “I couldn’t live with it. Every time I went out hunting. Every time the barn door slammed shut a little too loud. Every time a group of infected passed by a little too close that we could hear them in the distance. It always brought me back to Seattle. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat. I couldn’t even trust myself alone with JJ anymore. I think I was always going to try and find her, whether you came with that map or not. Staying might have killed me.”

Tommy nodded. He was quiet for a moment, thinking. Then, “Why didn’t you kill her?”

Ellie shrugged. “I thought it was what I needed. Closure, vengeance, justice. She took so much from me…” she sighed. “I almost did it. I had her and I almost killed her. And somehow, I thought of Joel, and what he would think if he saw me right then. I was so consumed with rage that I didn’t even recognize myself. I didn’t want to keep going down that path. Violence for violence, an eye for an eye. When was it gonna stop?” Ellie looked down at her hands, traced the edge of her missing fingers. “So I stopped it. I realized what I really needed was to let go.”

They were quiet for a moment. The only noise that filled the room was the record Ellie had playing softly in the background.

Tommy cleared his throat. “I think… I think Joel would’ve been mighty proud of you.”

Ellie’s lips twitched. “I hope so.”

When Tommy left, Ellie finished her letter.

The next day, she paced outside Dina’s house for ten minutes before finally getting the courage to place it inside her mailbox.

* * *

_ Dina, _

_ I’m back in Jackson. _

_ I’ll be at our old spot, Saturday night at 23:00 if you want to talk and can spare a few minutes of your time. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to listen to me or ever see me again if you don’t want to. I won’t blame you if that’s the case. I understand. _

_ I’ll be there, and if you don’t show up I’ll stay away for good. I promise. _

_ E _

* * *

The early spring air was warm, and there wasn’t a cloud in the night sky. The stars were scattered above as Ellie laid on her back, sprawled out on the rooftop, hands behind her head, gazing up at them. Ellie had always been fond of the vastness of space. Even if she gave up her dream of being an astronaut long ago, the longing in her heart as she looked up at the stars never faded.

She checked her watch. 23:15.

Dina wasn’t coming.

She had expected this outcome, of course, but as much as she tried to not get her hopes up, it was impossible. It was  _ Dina.  _ She was always going to hold onto any sliver of hope there was when it came to Dina.

Just as Ellie was about to get up and head home, she heard a creak from over the edge of the roof. She sat up. A moment later, a figure appeared, clambering over the edge. She stood up and Ellie gasped.

Dina.

“Sorry I’m late,” Dina muttered. “JJ woke up and did not want to go back to sleep.”

Ellie stared at her for a moment, gaping. “How—how is he?”

“He’s good,” Dina said. She kept her distance and crossed her arms, looking at the ground. “I’m glad he’s close to his grandparents now. They can’t get enough of him, and they’ve been really helpful.”

She tentatively stepped toward Ellie and sat down cross-legged on the roof, a few feet away from her, facing the same direction. The both looked out into the distance, the soft glow of lights from the town that faded into forest, then disappeared into the black of night.

Ellie glanced over at Dina, watching as she tilted her head and gave a grim smile. She studied the shape of her eyes, the curve of her lips, the slope of her nose, the pattern of freckles, hoping for something to remember when she was drawing later, even if her drawings never did her beauty justice.

”The library roof, huh?” Dina mused. “Still just as beautiful up here.”

Ellie nodded. “Yeah.”

“Remember when we were sixteen and Jesse stole his dad’s bourbon and we all drank it up here together?”

Ellie pursed her lips, wanting to smile fondly at the memory. “That was a good day.”

The pair fell quiet. All they could hear was the hum of streetlights, the gentle wind, the chirp of crickets. Ellie grew self-conscious of the sound of her own breath.

It felt like an eternity of silence until finally, Dina sighed.

“You really hurt me, Ellie,” she muttered. Her voice shook as she spoke. A single tear streaked down her cheek. “You were my best friend. My partner. We moved out to the country to be a family and you—you just left. For what? Vengeance? Are you happy now that you got it? Was it worth it?”

Ellie stayed quiet. Dina was angry, frustrated. She deserved to say her piece. When she was finished, Ellie looked down at her hands in front of her.

“I didn’t kill her, Dina,” Ellie mumbled.

“What?”

“She took… so much from me,” Ellie sighed. “I wanted to hate her. I wanted justice. I didn’t realize I had lost myself along the way until it was almost too late.”

“What do you mean?” Dina asked. She looked confused, sad.

“It means… I’m sorry,” Ellie said. “I’m not sorry I left. I think I needed to find her to be able to let her go. Maybe now I can move forward. But I’m sorry I put you and JJ through that. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me to be. I wanted to get better so I could be there for you, but I might have just lost you in the process. I know there’s nothing I can do to make it up to you, but… I’m sorry.”

Dina said nothing. She stood up and walked back to the edge of the roof. Ellie could hear the way her breath shook and knew she was holding back tears. Before she jumped down, she turned back, not fully facing Ellie, but enough to say one more thing.

“I’m glad you made it back in one piece.”

Dina jumped off the roof and the sound of her footsteps faded away into the night, leaving Ellie alone.

Ellie laid back and looked up at the stars.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Would you like to talk about them now?”
> 
> Ellie clenched her jaw. “Not really.”
> 
> Dr. Liu sighed and leaned forward in her chair. “You’re going to have to talk about Dina and JJ eventually.”
> 
> “I know.” Ellie closed her eyes and pictured her family in her head. “Just… not today.”
> 
> Ellie goes to therapy.

The office had become familiar over the past couple months. The small, windowless room with various nature photographs framed on the walls, the fluorescent light above buzzing incessantly, giving her a slight headache. Ellie did her best to tune out the sound. She leaned forward on the armchair, watching the wick of the scented candle on the table in front of her as it flickered.

Cinnamon. That was today’s candle scent. Ellie thought about the hot cocoa Joel used to make for her, flavored with extra cinnamon. She smiled fondly.

“Have you had anymore nightmares lately?”

Ellie glanced up at the woman sitting across from her, Dr. Liu. Her therapist.

Who would have guessed there were therapists in Jackson?

Sidney Liu was in her late forties and her dark hair was just barely starting to turn gray at the roots. She finished her master’s degree and had started her first job at a mental health office when outbreak day came around, a long time ago. She probably never imagined she would find a place to settle down and work after the world went to hell.

Ellie shook her head. “No. The nightmares have stopped, mostly,” she said. “I do have dreams though.”

“What about?”

Ellie thought for a moment, trying to remember some of her more recent dreams. “I see Joel,” she said. “Sitting on his porch, playing guitar. Sometimes I’m playing with him. I almost think it’s real until I wake up and Joel’s still dead and I’m still missing two fingers.” Ellie chuckled lightly.

Dr. Liu jotted something down in her notes, then looked up at Ellie again. “Any other dreams?” she questioned.

Ellie hesitated. “Sometimes I’m at the farm,” she whispered. She didn’t say anything else on the matter.

After a moment of silence, Dr. Liu realized Ellie wasn’t going to speak on the matter of her own accord. “You know,” she prompted, “you still haven’t told me much about Dina and JJ.”

“Hm,” Ellie murmured in acknowledgement:

“Would you like to talk about them now?”

Ellie clenched her jaw. “Not really.”

Dr. Liu sighed and leaned forward in her chair. “You’re going to have to talk about them eventually.”

“I know.” Ellie closed her eyes and pictured her family in her head. “Just… not today.”

The frown on Dr. Liu’s face was apparent as she glanced at her watch, but she said nothing, letting the subject drop. “Well, we’re just about out of time for today.” She closed her notebook and crossed her legs, looking up at Ellie. “This week can you try to express your feelings for Dina and JJ? You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to, but just write all your thoughts down somewhere without holding back and see where it takes you. And then maybe, eventually, you’ll be ready to talk about them.”

Ellie sighed. “I’ll try.”

By the time Ellie finished her session, the midday sun was high in the sky. She reached into her backpack and grabbed the sandwich she had made that morning, unwrapped it, and began to munch on it as she walked toward the stables for work.

It was nearing the end of summer and the heat was sweltering, but Ellie always felt more comfortable in long sleeves that she could easily easily use to hide her left hand with its missing fingers and brand new burn scar, concealing yet another bite mark. She had hastily burned the skin on the barrel of her gun back in Santa Barbara, wanting to hide it before traveling back to Jackson. It was already a dangerous enough trip, but if she ran into anyone who thought she was infected, it would have been much worse.

Maybe she would cover up this burn with another tattoo.

Ellie finished her sandwich and tossed the wrappings in a trash bin at the playground as she passed by on the way to the stables. As she stepped back on the path, she stopped in her tracks when she almost ran into someone and froze in shock when she realized who it was.

“Ellie,” Dina breathed. She had JJ draped over her shoulder, holding him as she left the park.

“Dina,” Ellie said. “Hi.” She quickly shoved her hands into her pockets, for some reason wanting to hide the ugly scars and missing fingers on her hand.

They had seen each other a handful of times since their conversation on the rooftop. Dina had made her feelings very clear, so Ellie did her best to keep her distance. Still, when they did run into each other, there was no animosity. Dina always had a pleasant smile and a polite wave for Ellie.

“What are you doing here?” Dina asked.

“Oh, just… heading to work,” Ellie said, distracted. “I’m not cleared for patrols yet so Maria has me working at the stables.”

This was the first time Ellie had run into Dina with JJ, and the first time she had seen him,  _ really _ seen him, since she left. Ellie couldn’t tear her eyes off him.

“We just had a playdate at the park,” Dina explained with a small smile when she noticed Ellie looking at him. She turned slightly so Ellie could see his face, slumped against Dina’s shoulder with his eyes closed as he clutched onto her tightly. “He’s wiped out now. Did you have a good day, kiddo?”

“Good day,” JJ mumbled sleepily.

Ellie felt her heart swell. He was talking now? He was almost two years old, but it still took her by surprise. Every time Ellie saw JJ she realized how much she was missing. Even if she didn’t deserve to call him her son anymore, she still felt like he was. She was never going to stop caring for him more than anything in the world.

“Can you say hi to Ellie?” Dina muttered, nudging him gently with her finger.

“Hi.” JJ waved his hand, smiling at Ellie, then nuzzled back into his mother’s neck.

Ellie felt her eyes clouding with tears. She knew if she didn’t get out of there soon, she might break. She cleared her throat.

“Um, I have to go,” she said quickly. “Gonna be late.”

“Okay,” Dina said, slightly taken aback. “I’ll see you.”

Ellie waved goodbye, dismissing them, and quickly stormed off. As soon as she was confident Dina couldn’t see her anymore, she wiped the tears from her eyes.

* * *

_ Ellie had never been much of a morning person. Waking up for early patrols was always a pain. She yawned and stretched out, before suddenly realizing she was in an empty bed. She shot upright and looked around frantically. They camped for the night inside an empty RV they had found on the side of the road, grateful to sleep in an actual bed for once, but Dina was nowhere to be found. _

_ “Dina?” Ellie called out. She leapt out of bed, hastily reaching for her pants and pulling them on. _

_ No response. _

_ Ellie bounded for the front door and threw it open. “Dina!” she cried, growing more frantic. _

_ Dina was sitting outside, roasting a rabbit over a small fire. She raised an eyebrow at Ellie. “Chill, dude, you’re gonna alert every infected in a five mile radius of our location.” _

_ Ellie glared at her. “You can’t just— you were gone! I thought you were—“ _

_ “Ellie, I’m fine,” Dina said calmly. “I was just out hunting. Oh, breakfast is almost ready.” She turned the stick with the rabbit on it slightly. _

_ “Next time just wake me up before you leave or something,” Ellie grumbled. _

_ “Oh, and face the wrath of Ellie Williams in the morning?” Dina laughed. “No thanks.” _

_ Ellie huffed and sat down on the ground next to her. “I just worry about you. You’re here because of me.” _

_ Dina sighed. “We’ve been over this,” she said, reaching out to touch Ellie’s knee. “I’m here because I want to be.” _

_ When Ellie didn’t say anything, Dina scooted closer and gave her leg a playful squeeze. _

_ “Tell you what,” Dina said. “I scouted the area this morning. No infected in sight. We’ve made really good progress this week and are currently ahead of schedule. Why don’t we take a little time off?” _

_ “Are you crazy?” Ellie exclaimed. “We can’t afford to take some time off when Joel’s killer is still out there and—“ _

_ “Babe. Breathe.” Dina looked at her pointedly and didn’t let up until Ellie reluctantly took a deep breath. “We’re not trying to catch up with them. We know where they’re going. We’re just trying to get there.” _

_ “But Tommy—“ _

_ “Isn’t that far ahead of us, and we’re both better navigators than he is. No way he’ll beat us there by more than a day.” _

_ Ellie didn’t protest anymore, but she wasn’t too keen on just agreeing either. _

_ “I know you’ve been stressed,” Dina said. “We can afford to take a tiny, little break. Let me take you on a real date.” _

_ “Excuse me?” _

_ “Come on,” Dina laughed at the surprised look on Ellie’s face. “I don’t think making out at the ‘family friendly’ town event and getting called dykes or hooking up in an abandoned library and getting walked in on by my ex really count as dates. Let’s do something. Just you and me.” _

_ Shimmer thought this was an opportune moment to make her presence known and whinnied. _

_ “And Shimmer.” _

_ Ellie blushed. Sure, she had thought about going on a date with Dina a million times. She had always imagined something back in town. She thought they could go to movie night together. Or they’d get a drink at the bar and go back to Ellie’s place where she’d play Dina a song. Maybe they could have gone on a picnic at the park, or she could cook dinner for her. Out here there weren’t a whole lot of options. _

_ But still, Dina wanted to go on a real date with her. Ellie couldn’t help the giddy grin on her face as she eventually relented with a shrug. _

_ “Fine,” she sighed, laughing when Dina whooped with joy. “What did you have in mind?” _

_ “Ah, ah, patience,” Dina teased, wagging her finger. “Let’s eat first, pack up camp, then I’ll take us there.” _

_ Ellie’s face scrunched in confusion. How the hell did Dina know of something to do already? “Take us where?” she asked. _

_ “You really don’t like surprises, do you?” _

_ “Not particularly, no.” _

_ “Well, you’re just gonna have to trust me. Can you do that, Ellie?” Dina challenged her with a playful glare. _

_ Ellie glared back, hiding her smile through pursed lips. “I don’t have any other choice, do I?” _

_ Dina shook her head, a devious grin on her face. “Nope.” _

_ A few hours later, Ellie sat atop Shimmer, sitting in the rear for once, as Dina led the way through the forest. Ellie had tried to keep track of where they were going, but got lost about ten minutes in. She assumed Dina was intentionally taking a winding path to confuse her, and it was working. _

_ “Where the hell are we going?” Ellie grumbled. _

_ “You’ll see,” Dina replied, coy. _

_ A cold breeze whipped through the trees. Ellie shivered and held onto Dina a little more tightly. The late winter windchill in the northwest was no joke. _

_ “Do you have a destination in mind or are you just taking us in circles until you think of something to do?” Ellie huffed. _

_ Dina scoffed, mock offended. “I thought I asked you to trust me!” she gasped. “We’re almost there.” _

_ They continued on for a few more minutes before the trail started to get more narrow and steep. Shimmer was walking slower and more unsteady. Dina pulled back on the reins and Shimmer stopped in her tracks. She hopped off the horse and held out a hand to Ellie. _

_ “Come on,” she said. “We’ll go on foot from here.” _

_ Ellie hopped off the horse and Dina didn’t let go of her hand. She glanced down at their interlocked fingers between them. A small smile crept onto her lips and her cheeks flushed. _

_ Dina led Ellie up the trail and through the trees so quickly that Ellie was afraid she might have fallen behind if she hadn’t been holding onto her. She stopped in her tracks to catch her breath. _

_ “How much further?” Ellie asked. _

_ “Not far,” Dina said. She let go of Ellie’s hand and disappeared into the trees. _

_ “Hey!” Ellie jumped after her, following her path, but couldn’t seem to find her. “Dina?” _

_ “You’re almost there!” Dina called out, her voice sounding a little distant. _

_ Ellie followed the sound until she stepped out into a clearing where Dina stood, waiting for her, her backpack already sitting at her feet. There was a small pool of water in the rocky ground, steam coming from the surface. Ellie looked at her questioningly. _

_ “What’s this?” _

_ “Hot springs,” Dina said. Then, she took off her shirt and chucked it at Ellie’s head. _

_ Ellie’s cheeks flushed as Dina turned around and unabashedly undressed in front of her. “Wh-what are you doing?!” _

_ “Getting in, dummy!” _

_ “You’ll catch a cold!” Ellie exclaimed. “What if someone comes by?” _

_ “Ellie, we’re the only people for miles,” Dina said. She stepped into the pool of hot water and sighed in relief when she was fully submerged. “Well? Are you coming?” _

_ Ellie looked around nervously even though she knew there was nobody to be found. Dina raised an eyebrow at her, then splashed some water in her direction. “Hey!” Ellie huffed. She set her backpack down, then reluctantly turned around and unbuttoned her shirt. _

_ Dina respectfully looked away as Ellie shed her clothing, keeping her gaze averted until Ellie stepped into the water and submerged herself. _

_ “Hot!” she hissed. _

_ “It’s called a hot spring, not a cold spring,” Dina laughed. _

_ Ellie rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She stepped into the pool, still feeling tense, and Dina was quick to catch onto her mood. _

_ “You are so stressed, baby,” Dina muttered. She stepped up to Ellie from behind and put her hands on her shoulders, gently massaging. “You need to relax.” _

_ Ellie sighed. “That feels nice.” Dina softly kissed her shoulder as she continued. Ellie felt all the tension she held within her slowly dissipate as she relaxed under Dina’s touch. _

_ “Man,” Dina mused after a few minutes. “I can’t believe I got you naked on our first date. I didn’t peg you for that kind of woman, Ellie.” _

_ Ellie rolled her eyes and shoved Dina away, trying not to laugh. “And to think we were just having a nice moment.” She stepped away, leaning her back against the edge of the pool. _

_ “Oh, come on,” Dina teased. She stepped closer again and placed her hands on either side of Ellie. “You love me.” _

_ While Dina said it with a joking tone, Ellie couldn’t help but fully take the weight and meaning of the words to heart. She looked into Dina’s deep brown eyes and replied, completely serious, “I do.” _

_ Dina’s playful demeanor shifted. She blushed and her smile grew into something more sincere. She leaned in, her nose brushing gently against Ellie’s. “I do, too,” she whispered. _

_ Ellie tilted her head forward, closing the distance between them. They kissed, sweet and slow for a few moments. Dina’s fingers tangled in Ellie’s hair while Ellie’s hands held the small of her back, tugging her closer. Ellie gently nipped Dina’s bottom lip and Dina gasped into her mouth, a beautiful sound. She lost herself in the kiss, surrendering herself to Ellie. _

_ Slowly, Ellie’s hands came up to Dina’s shoulders. She broke the kiss for a moment, smirked, then dunked Dina’s head underwater. _

_ A moment later, Dina broke the surface again, coughing and sputtering. “You ass!” she laughed. “It is so on!” Ellie didn’t even have time to duck out of the way as Dina splashed a giant wave of hot water in her direction. Ellie giggled, darting out of the way. The giddy grin on her face felt unfamiliar. She hadn’t felt this sort of pure joy and elation since before Joel died, and it felt good to smile again. _

_ They stayed at the hot springs for a few hours, until their fingers were wrinkled and they had forgotten about the rest of the world for a few blissful moments, getting to feel like a normal couple for once, whatever the hell that meant. _

_ Eventually, they were fully dressed and making their way back to where they left Shimmer tied up.They walked down the path at a leisurely pace, swinging their joined hands between them. Ellie bumped Dina’s hip playfully and Dina laughed. _

_ “After you, m’lady,” Ellie said, gesturing for Dina to climb on top of Shimmer first. _

_ Dina stepped forward, then stumbled a little. She rested a hand against Shimmer’s side and leaned forward, panting. _

_ “You okay?” _

_ “Yeah,” Dina muttered, a little breathy. “I-I’m good.” She started to climb up, but stopped halfway through. _

_ Ellie frowned. “You sure?” _

_ “Mhm.” Dina quickly nodded her head, then grimaced. She stepped a few feet away, then promptly vomited into the dirt. _

_ “Hey,” Ellie bounded over and held Dina’s hair out of her face. She rubbed gentle circles against her back while she recovered. “What’s wrong?” _

_ “Nothing,” Dina said. She coughed, then took a swig of her water. “I probably just undercooked the rabbit this morning.” She took another drink of water, then stood upright and smiled. “See? I’m feeling better already. Just needed to get it out of my system.” _

_ Ellie frowned, but didn’t press any further. “If you say so.” _

_ Dina sighed as she leaned against a tree and buried her face in her hands. “Sorry I ruined our day,” she muttered. _

_ “What?” Ellie scoffed. “You didn’t ruin anything.” She grabbed Dina’s hands, pulled her close, and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I just want you to feel better.” _

_ “I do feel better,” Dina said quickly. _

_ “You do?” Ellie asked. Dina nodded. Ellie wasn’t sure she quite believed her, but Dina was insistent. “Well,” she said, “the day’s still young. Let’s see what other fun sights we can find, shall we?” Ellie held out her hand, taking Dina’s in her own once again. _

_ Dina grinned. “Sounds perfect.” _

* * *

After that first instance, it only happened once or twice. Ellie attributed it to pure luck on her part, some entity out in the universe smiling down upon her with an occasional glimpse of JJ. But as the days progressed, eventually Ellie saw Dina and JJ at the park every day on her way to work. And every day, Dina would say hi to Ellie and have JJ wave hello as well.

“You guys have been here a lot,” Ellie said after Dina greeted her for the fourth day in a row.

Dina rolled her eyes. “This one has been obsessed with the sheep ever since that first play date and insists on coming here every day so he can look at them at the stables.”

“Baa!” said JJ.

Dina giggled and poked his nose. Ellie couldn’t help but smile at the adorable sight in front of her.

“Have a good day at work,” Dina said as she walked past. “We’ll see you around, Ellie.” Every day, Ellie left another piece of herself with them in these little moments.

Thursday was JJ’s birthday.

Ellie walked to work that morning with a small parcel, wrapped in simple brown paper and tied with a blue bow. She fidgeted with the frayed end of the ribbon, walking to work while she stared at her feet, almost too scared to look up at the playground until she heard Dina’s voice call her name.

“Ellie!”

Ellie glanced over, a hesitant smile on her face. Dina sat on the closest bench and waved to Ellie, while JJ drew on the ground with chalk. Ellie waved back with her right hand, then hesitated before taking a deep breath and walking over to where they sat.

“Hey,” Ellie said. “I, uh, have a present for JJ.”

Dina’s face softened. “You do?” Ellie nodded. “JJ, sweetie, come here.”

JJ stopped in the middle of his drawing of a sheep and waddled over. He shyly grabbed onto Dina’s leg. Dina nodded at Ellie, and Ellie sat down on the ground next to JJ.

“Hey buddy,” Ellie said. “Happy birthday.” She held out the present for him.

JJ looked at the present, then up at his mother.

“Go on,” Dina said, encouraging him.

JJ grabbed the present, a bright smile on his face, and opened it excitedly. He ripped away all the paper to reveal a small stuffed sheep. JJ gasped.

“You like it?” Ellie asked.

“Yes!”

Ellie‘s small smile widened to a splitting grin. It was the first time she had smiled like this in a really long time. It felt nice. “Well, you know, there’s a little something else too. Squeeze here.”

She grabbed the toy and led JJ’s hand to one of the legs and helped him squeeze it. As soon as they pressed the button, a sound came out. It was Ellie’s voice saying,  _ Baa! _

JJ giggled in delight and pressed the button again. He waved the toy around, showing his mom excitedly.

“What do you say, baby?”

JJ turned around and threw his arms around Ellie in a hug, taking her by surprise. “Thank you!” he squealed.

Ellie couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes, caught off-guard by the sudden affection. “You’re welcome, Potato,” she muttered. She met Dina’s eyes over his little shoulder, and Ellie felt like she could see everything she was feeling right now. Then, Dina looked up.

“Robin, hi.” Dina stood and hugged the man who had just approached. Jesse’s dad, JJ’s grandfather.

Ellie stood too, quickly wiped her eyes, and held out her hand, offering Robin a handshake. “Robin,” she said, and nodded politely.

“Ellie,” he said, doing the same. He shook her hand firmly, but didn’t quite smile.

“Robin, would you mind keeping an eye on JJ for a second?” Dina asked. “I’d like to walk Ellie to work.”

“Of course,” Robin said. “We’ll have some fun, huh kiddo?” He picked up JJ who laughed in delight, still clutching the sheep toy close to him.

“Say bye, JJ!” Dina said.

“Bye bye!” JJ waved goodbye.

Ellie waved back, then turned around and walked away before she could start crying again. She felt Dina close on her heels, so eventually she slowed down, falling into step with her.

“That was some present,” Dina said, shoving her hands into her pockets. “Where’d you think of that?”

“Joel told me about this gift he got for Sarah once,” Ellie explained. “It was these stuffed animals you can record a message on and put it inside. What was it… Create a Cat? Design a Dog?” Ellie shook her head. “I don’t remember. But, uh, I found the sheep at the market and Maria helped me get the recording stuff. I’m not so great at sewing so maybe just make sure he doesn’t play with the stitches too much.”

Ellie nervously brought a hand up to rub the back of her neck, but as she did she watched as Dina’s face turned from a tentative smile to a small frown. She reached out and grabbed Ellie’s left hand, pulling it into view and holding it with her own. She traced her fingers gently over the scarred knuckles, seeing the missing part of her for the first time.

“What happened here?” Dina asked, breathless.

Ellie shook her head. “Oh, it’s—it’s nothing. Doesn’t even hurt anymore.” Dina frowned at her, and Ellie sighed. “Okay, when I was gone… it got pretty brutal,” she explained, wincing at the ugly memory. “Maybe I didn’t quite come back in one piece. But I’m trying to put back together what’s left.”

Dina nodded in understanding. She didn’t press any further, but she looked down at Ellie’s hand again, tracing her fingers over her knuckles and the red burn one last time. Then, she let go and gave Ellie a sad smile. They stopped walking just short of the barn doors, waiting a moment before Ellie headed into work.

“Thank you again for the present. It’s perfect,” Dina muttered. “I can tell he already loves it.”

Ellie didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded. As Dina backed away and turned around to return to the park, Ellie watched her go. For the first time in a long while, she felt hope.

The next day at Ellie’s therapy appointment, they sat in silence for a few minutes.

Ellie took a deep breath trying to muster any spare confidence she could find.  _ Fresh grass, _ she thought. That was today’s candle scent. It reminded her of the farm. She smiled.

Finally, Ellie spoke up. “I, uh, I saw Dina and JJ yesterday.”

Dr. Liu smiled. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Slowly, Ellie nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t usually write children but I am in love with JJ and I’m trying my best. It’s his second birthday and I googled “baby speech development” so hopefully I didn’t do too terribly.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and thank you for all the lovely comments on the last chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wanted to hate you so badly, but I couldn’t. I just missed you.” Dina’s voice cracked as she spoke. “I still miss you.”
> 
> “I miss you too,” Ellie breathed. “Every day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for this chapter: Canon-typical violence, horse death, more PTSD.

Ellie followed the familiar path through town, the same one she took to the stables every single day, but today excitement thrummed in her veins. It was a crisp autumn morning. Orange leaves crunched underfoot with each step she took. A cold breeze whistled by, sweeping her hair out of her face and sending a chill down her spine. She pulled her jacket tighter around her.

“Ellie!”

The sound of JJ’s voice calling her name brought a grin to Ellie‘s face. She turned toward the playground and saw the little boy all bundled up for the cold bounding in her direction. He tripped and fell forward, but immediately shot back up and kept going. An exasperated looking Dina followed after him.

Ellie crouched down to meet JJ when he approached. “Hey buddy,” she said. “What’s up?”

“Sheep!” JJ pointed past the fence where the sheep were grazing.

“They’re pretty cool, huh?” Ellie agreed. Finally, Dina caught up to them, panting. She grabbed JJ’s hand and looked up at Ellie with a strained smile. “You okay?”

Dina nodded, breathless. “I swear he’s gotten faster.” She looked Ellie up and down, taking in her heavy boots and her thick brown jacket. “You look a little warmly dressed for a day at the stables,” she observed.

“Oh,” Ellie said quickly. She nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’m uh, not going to the stables. My therapist just cleared me for patrol.”

Dina’s eyes widened. “Oh,” she said. Her voice was flat, her expression unreadable. She hesitated a moment. “That’s— that’s great, Ellie. I’m happy for you.”

“Really?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah,” Dina said quickly. She looked awkwardly down at the ground for a moment as Ellie lingered. “You should go, I don’t want to hold you up. I know how they get if you’re late for patrol.”

“Because you were always late for patrol,” Ellie quipped.

Dina laughed, but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “We’ll see you later, Ellie,” she said.

“Bye-bye!” JJ waved.

“Bye, buddy,” Ellie said.

She left them at the playground and continued on past the stables to the main gate. A group of people were lined up and horses were ready, while Maria delivered assignments.

“Nice of you to join us, Ellie,” she said. “I was just finishing up. You’ll be with me on the Bridge Route. Anybody have any questions?” The group was quiet. “All right, dismissed. Get goin’.” She sauntered over to Ellie as the group dispersed.

“I thought you didn’t do patrols anymore?” Ellie asked.

“I do ‘em sometimes,” Maria explained. “Gotta make sure you’re ready to return like you say you are.”

“Like my therapist says I am,” Ellie said.

Maria rolled her eyes, but leaned in close, her voice suddenly softer and concerned. “You don’t have to do patrols, you know,” she said. “We got plenty of able bodied people who can. We’ll survive without you.”

Ellie shook her head. “I want to.”

“Do you want to, or do you feel like you have to?”

Ellie frowned. “I want to.” When Maria’s gaze lingered on her, she rubbed her arm uncomfortably and looked down at the ground. “What else am I gonna do?” she sighed.

That seemed to be the answer that Maria was looking for. She took a step back and handed Ellie a hunting rifle. Ellie took it from her and slung it over her shoulder.

“You have your pistol?” Maria asked.

Ellie nodded.

“All right.” She gestured to one of the horses that was left. “Get on.”

His fur was a dark brown color; Ellie recognized him as a young horse she had been working with at the stables named Bracken. She would take him out around the pasture for some light training, and now he was old enough to ride. She walked up to him, petting Bracken’s side for a moment before she climbed atop his back and followed Maria out the front gates of Jackson.

It was much colder outside the city walls with nothing to stop the bitter wind from chilling them to the bone. Ellie was grateful she had dressed for the weather, though the glove on her left hand was uncomfortable as the excess fabric felt like it was chafing the stubs of her missing fingers. She ignored it, rather to be uncomfortable than her hands being cold.

They rode without incident to the first checkpoint, a tower at the end of the bridge. Maria stayed on the ground with the horses while Ellie climbed to the top and logged their progress in the book. All clear. No infected in sight.

Next, they took off into the forest toward the highest peak in the west where their second and final stop would be. Ellie wasn’t stupid. She knew Maria had assigned them to this route because it was the shortest. She didn’t think Ellie was ready to be back on patrol, but Ellie wanted to prove her wrong.

Bracken was getting tired; it was his first time out riding for this long. Ellie pushed him forward to catch up with Maria. They could rest once they got to the next checkpoint. The horses trotted up the open path up the mountain, steering clear of the dense trees that made up the forest around them.

When their final checkpoint was in sight, a small cabin at the top of the mountain, Ellie’s ears twitched as she heard a rustling sound from the trees. She drew her pistol with one hand and held onto the reins with the other. When she looked behind them, the sound of humanoid moans filled her ears as the rustling continued.

“Shit,” she muttered.

The first runner came out from the trees and Ellie fired two shots at it. “Runner!” she called out to Maria. It fell down, twitching, until it lay motionless on the ground. Ellie sighed in relief.

Then, half a dozen more runners sprinted out of the trees and toward the horses, surrounding them.

Maria urged her horse forward, trampling one of the infected in front of her. Ellie fired at another one that lunged for Maria on her horse. It fell to the ground, and Bracken trampled it easily.

Ellie felt something gripping at her ankle. She looked behind her to find a runner struggling to keep pace, grabbing her ankle, trying to drag her off the horse. She kicked it in the head a few times until it let go, then shot it right between its clouded, gray eyes. Then, there was a pained whinny from in front of her.

Ellie looked ahead just in time to see Maria thrown forward as her horse collapsed, three infected dragging it down. Maria skidded across the ground and her back slammed into a tree, but she was quickly on her feet. She grabbed the rifle from her shoulder and took shots at the infected that were tearing into her horse, but it was too late. Ellie’s grip tightened on the reins and she could feel her heartbeat racing in her chest, but she took a deep breath.

Ellie steered Bracken around the bodies and trotted up to Maria, quickly pulling her onto the horse behind her. Maria shouldered her rifle again and grabbed her revolver. There were two runners left, quickly gaining on them.

“You got those?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah,” Maria said, taking aim with her gun.

“Good,” Ellie said, and she had Bracken take off galloping away.

Ellie looked ahead with a laser focus on the cottage in front of them, trying to ignore the way her heart rate continued to speed up and the way she couldn’t quite catch her breath.

There were a few more gunshots, and then the distant moans were gone.

“We’re clear,” Maria said.

Ellie opened her mouth but she couldn’t find her voice, so she just nodded.

She pulled on the reins, slowing Bracken down as they approached the cottage. As they slowed to a stop, Ellie couldn’t get off the horse fast enough. She leapt off, stumbling to the ground as she landed. Her vision was going dark and she took breath after breath, unable to get enough air in her lungs. Ellie shoved down the memories that tried to creep up on her, memories of gunshots ringing out in the theater, Jesse’s lifeless body on the ground next to her. She crawled to the cabin and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Ellie wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but when she opened her eyes again, Maria was sitting next to her, a hand on her back. She didn’t say anything, she just waited, rubbing her shoulder in an attempt to help her calm down. Ellie let out a shaky breath, and inhaled slowly, finally feeling like she was in control of her breathing again.

“You okay, kid?” Maria asked.

Ellie shook her head and buried her face in her hands. “I thought I was ready,” she mumbled. “I thought I was better.”

“You are better,” Maria said. “You’re a hell of a lot better than when you first got back, that’s for sure. Healing isn’t about getting rid of your problems but learning to manage them.”

Ellie snorted. “You sound like my therapist.”

“Good,” Maria said. “I see Dr. Liu too, you know. I hope I’ve learned a thing or two from her.” They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the wind as it rustled the leaves on the nearby trees.

Ellie picked at the grass underneath her. “I wanted to do patrols again so I could have some purpose, a reason for being here,” Ellie explained. “What the hell else am I supposed to do?”

Maria gave her a small smile. “You’re smart,” she said. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

* * *

_ Ellie wasn’t sure what city they were in—if you could even call it a city. Maybe small town would be a better word for it. They were out of the forest and had just finished trekking through neighborhoods and houses, but approaching the “city”, the tallest buildings Ellie could see were only two stories tall. Maybe the taller ones had just crumbled over time. _

_ Shimmer stepped carefully over cracked sidewalks and debris as they made their way through the buildings. Shops, restaurants, offices. All the windows were broken and the places looked picked clean. And it was quiet. _

_ The sun was beginning to set. _

_ “Should we find somewhere to make camp for the night?” Ellie asked. _

_ “Yeah,” Dina agreed. “Seems safe enough here. We don’t want to be riding blind once the sun goes down.” _

_ Ellie nodded. “Keep an eye out for a building that looks secure.” _

_ “Looks like everywhere has been broken into,” Dina mused. She glanced around at the different structures until she peered over Ellie’s shoulder and pointed at one straight ahead. “What about that one?” _

_ Ellie took a look at it. The sign outside had letters missing, but it looked like it read Bar Nob. The first floor windows were all smashed in, leaving it open, but the second story looked relatively untouched. If they could find a way up there it would probably be a decent place to camp for the night. _

_ “Let’s check it out,” she said. _

_ Ellie guided Shimmer in that direction until they were right outside. She and Dina jumped off the horse, then tied Shimmer to a lamppost just outside the front of the store. The front doors were chained shut, so they climbed through one of the broken windows and quickly ducked behind a shelf, keeping an ear out for any infected. _

_ They were inside a bookstore and the shelves were, surprisingly, still filled with books, Unfortunately, most of them were damaged by the elements and by time, but Ellie wondered if she could find a few worth salvaging in here. _

_ Ellie and Dina exchanged a quick glance, then peered around the corner and crept up to the next shelf. Still no infected. _

_ Dina stood upright from her crouched position and holstered her gun. “Seems quiet,” she whispered. “We might be good.” She stepped out of cover to duck behind the next shelf when a stalker skittered out from behind it and lunged at her. _

_ Dina yelped as it pinned her to the ground, slashing at her. Ellie reacted quickly, jumping on its back and stabbing it in the neck. The stalker collapsed dead on top of Dina. Ellie quickly pushed it aside and helped her up. _

_ “You okay?” _

_ Dina nodded, wiping away the blood that had sprayed across her face. “Yeah,” she said quickly. “I’m fine.” _

_ Ellie looked around. “Looks like we got stalkers.” As if on cue, another one crawled out into the open on all fours, then swiftly moved behind the checkout counter. _

_ Dina grabbed Ellie’s arm, startled. “Fuck stalkers,” she muttered. _

_ They crept across the floor toward the counter where they saw the stalker disappear. Dina peered around the counter and saw it crouched there. She snuck up behind it, then grabbed it by the head and slit its throat. The stalker fell, motionless. _

_ “Nice,” Ellie whispered. She joined Dina behind the counter and peered over, scanning the room for any other infected. She flagged one that skittered behind a bookshelf, and one lurking behind an open doorway. She pointed them out to Dina. _

_ “What if we draw them out?” Dina asked. She grabbed a bottle from the floor and held it up. _

_ Ellie pulled her rifle from over her shoulder and nodded, taking aim. Dina threw the bottle and with a loud crash, seven stalkers crept out of their hiding places and rushed toward the sound. Ellie fired one shot, taking one of them down, and reloaded. She fired again. _

_ Now the stalkers were drawn to the sound of her gun. _

_ “Shit,” Ellie muttered as she reloaded again. “That’s a lot more than I thought.” _

_ Thinking quickly, Dina threw a Molotov cocktail, taking out another three infected, but the last two escaped, slightly charred, and shambled toward them. They came at Ellie and Dina from opposite ends, cornering them behind the counter. _

_ Ellie got her rifle reloaded just as the stalker lunged for her, knocking the gun out of her grip. She could hear as Dina grappled with the other one. _

_ The infected pinned her against the counter, clawing at her face. Ellie struggled to keep it off of her and couldn’t even reach her knife from this position. She glanced over its shoulder and saw Dina pinned to the ground again. She had one arm draped over herself, protecting her face in the struggle. The stalker bit into her arm, chomping down hard. _

_ “DINA!” Ellie cried out. _

_ Then, the sound of a gunshot rang out. The stalker reared back and Dina fired another shot at its head. It fell to the floor, motionless. _

_ In Ellie’s distraction, the infected she was struggling with got a vice grip on her arm and bent it at an awkward angle. She cried out in pain and shoved at its face with her left hand, trying to keep it away. Another gunshot rang out and the stalker on her slumped to the ground, lifeless. _

_ Ellie looked up to see Dina on her feet again, breathing heavily. She rushed forward. “Dina, are you okay?” she asked. She grabbed Dina’s arm and rolled up the sleeve, showing her unblemished skin underneath and breathed a sigh of relief. “I-I was so worried,” Ellie whispered, her voice cracking as she tried not to sob. “I thought—“ _

_ “I know,” Dina whispered. She cupped Ellie’s face in her hands and pressed their foreheads together. “I’m fine. All thanks to the power of a denim jacket.” _

_ Ellie chuckled lightly as tears started to fall down her cheeks. Dina gently brushed them away, then kissed her softly. _

_ “Come on,” Dina said after a moment. “Let’s make sure the building’s clear.” _

_ Ellie nodded. She reached out for Dina’s hand and held it tight in her own. _

_ The rest of the building was clear. No more infected. The stairs were barricaded with shelves and furniture they couldn’t get past, but Ellie managed to pry open the elevator doors and they were able to climb up the ladder in the elevator shaft to get to the second floor. _

_ Dina found a small corner with bean bag chairs and couches in what looked like a little reading nook. The ceiling above this section of the store had caved in, leaving a hole in the roof where the night sky was visible. Dina dragged Ellie over to that corner and dropped her backpack on the ground. _

_ “Come here,” Dina muttered. _

_ They used the bean bag chairs as makeshift pillows and laid on the floor, staring up at the night sky. Dina draped an arm over Ellie and nuzzled into her side, holding her tight. Ellie absently stroked Dina’s hair as she looked at the stars. _

_ Why the hell had she let Dina come along with her? She wasn’t immune like Ellie was. It was dangerous. She had already lost Joel, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing Dina too. _

_ “You’re thinking too loud,” Dina said. Ellie looked back down to find Dina watching her, eyes tired, but concerned. “What’s on your mind?” she asked. Ellie opened her mouth but before she could say anything, Dina interjected, “And if you fucking apologize again for dragging me into this I swear to god I will break up with you.” _

_ Ellie stared at her for a moment, mouth agape, then she laughed. “Fine,” she said. “I won’t say anything, then.” _

_ “I knew what I was getting into, Ellie. I wasn’t gonna let you do this alone.” _

_ Ellie sighed. “What if we don’t make it back?” _

_ “We will,” Dina said confidently. _

_ “I appreciate your optimism, but… we might not.” _

_ Dina frowned. “I know that,” she sighed. “But if I don’t try to be optimistic, then what do I have to look forward to?” Ellie shrugged. Dina rolled onto her side, facing Ellie. “Hey, try being optimistic for once. When we get back—yes,  _ when— _ what are you looking forward to?” _

_ Ellie shrugged. “I guess… it’ll be nice to see Jesse again.” Dina nodded, encouraging her to continue. “And I miss meals I don’t have to hunt and cook for myself.” _

_ “Yeah,” Dina smiled. “Never thought I’d miss Seth’s shitty bar food.” _

_ “It’ll be nice to get back to painting,” Ellie said, thinking of the easel and paints in her room back home. _

_ “You should paint me when we get back,” Dina said, nuzzling her nose against Ellie’s. _

_ “Maybe I will,” Ellie said, a small smile on her lips. _

_ They were quiet for a moment, just looking into each other’s eyes. Ellie could get lost in Dina’s dark brown eyes, even more vast and beautiful than the stars in the night sky above them. Eventually, Dina cleared her throat. “What about us?” she asked. _

_ Ellie wasn’t quite sure what she was asking. “What do you mean?” _

_ “I mean… what do you see in our future? Back in Jackson.” _

_ Ellie swallowed. She hadn’t quite thought about that. Mostly because she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it. She didn’t want to get attached to the idea of a future with Dina if it wasn’t certain. _

_ Dina, it seemed, could sense exactly what was going on her head. “Just let yourself think about it,” she whispered. “Just for tonight. And then we can forget about it tomorrow.” _

_ Ellie frowned. “I dunno,” she muttered. “If I let myself think about it I probably won’t be able to get it out of my head.” _

_ Dina gave her a sympathetic smile. “Do you want me to start?” Ellie nodded. Dina leaned in, moving her hand from where it rested on Ellie’s chest to the back of her neck. She pulled Ellie in for a deep, lingering kiss that took the breath right from Ellie’s lungs in the best way possible. She clutched onto Dina’s denim jacket and tugged her closer, kissing her back fiercely, wanting to convey all her hopes for their future together that she couldn’t bring herself to say. _

_ Eventually, Dina’s lips slowed, leaving light kisses against her mouth, her cheeks, her nose, until finally she pulled back a few inches and whispered, “I want to do that every day for the rest of my life.” _

_ Ellie felt her heart stop at Dina’s confession. She held her closer, pressed their foreheads together, and closed her eyes. “Me too.” _

_ “We could get a nice little place together,” Dina continued. “Maybe something at the edge of town with a view of the mountains.” _

_ “And I could hold you like this every night,” Ellie added on. _

_ “We could get a spare bedroom and turn it into an art studio.” _

_ “I could cook you dinner.” _

_ Dina scoffed at that. “Please,” she said. “I don’t want to get food poisoning.” _

_ “Hey!” Ellie defended. “I’m not that bad!” _

_ “You burned macaroni and cheese,” Dina said flatly. “How the hell do you burn macaroni and cheese?” _

_ Ellie rolled her eyes, but Dina was right and they both knew it. “Fine,” Ellie sighed. “You can do the cooking.” _

_ Dina grinned, satisfied. “And you know how you can pay me back?” _

_ “How?” Ellie asked. _

_ Silently, Dina reached out for Ellie’s hand. She traced each knuckle, then laced their fingers together and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Play me some of the songs you wrote?” _

_ Ellie hesitated. Sure, she wrote songs, but she didn’t think they were any good. She never played them for anybody, not even Joel when they were on good terms. But the way Dina was looking at her right now made Ellie want to share everything with her, even the deepest, most intimate parts of herself that were buried in her songs. She bit her lip. _

_ “Okay,” Ellie said. Her voice was soft as she said it, and Dina seemed to notice this. Ellie felt more vulnerable than she ever had with another person before. Ellie thought she should be terrified, but she wasn’t scared at all. It was Dina. It was everything she wanted. _

_ Then, Dina’s cocky, playful self shone through once again as she asked, “Have you written any songs about me?” _

_ Ellie rolled her eyes and chuckled. Of course she had written songs about Dina, but she wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of telling her that. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” _

_ Dina giggled. “I’ll take it.” _

_ Ellie stared at Dina another moment. She tucked a curl of hair behind her ear, then leaned in and kissed her again. This kiss was brief, but the emotions behind it were palpable. _

_ “I love you,” Dina whispered against her lips as they broke apart. _

_ Ellie smiled. “I love you,” she muttered. _

_ They fell asleep curled up against each other, holding each other tight, never wanting to let go. _

* * *

Ellie did not want to go to the winter social. It was at the very bottom of her list of things she wanted to do. All it did was bring up bitter memories of better times with Dina, Jesse being alive, her last fight with Joel…

But Dr. Liu thought it would be good for her to go and make new memories to associate it with. Ellie thought it was bullshit, but still she found herself slinking into the old church fashionably late when the party was already in full swing. She figured she’d come, have one drink, stay for about twenty minutes, then leave.

Ellie grabbed a whiskey on the rocks from the bartender then slunk to the back corner of the church. The bright twinkle lights and jovial music felt like the opposite reflection of her current mood. She would much rather be at home away from all these bright lights and happy people. She figured reading or painting would be a better use of her time, and the best part of it was that she could be alone.

After sipping on her drink for a few minutes, Ellie noticed a little boy staring blatantly at her, or more specifically, at her left hand. She self consciously switched to holding her drink in her right hand and shoved her left hand into her pocket, hiding her scars and missing fingers, then stalked across the room away from the kid.

It was cold and snowy outside. Ellie had opted to wear a dark blue turtleneck to the party, but it was warm inside the building with everyone gathered in close proximity, dancing and drinking. She tugged at the neck a little, starting to feel a little overheated.

“You look happy to be here.”

Ellie turned around when she heard the familiar voice behind her. Dina looked beautiful as ever, her hair up in a loose bun. She wore a dark green long sleeved shirt that had the top few buttons undone. She offered Ellie a small smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ellie replied, sarcasm laced in her voice. “This is exactly where I want to be spending my Saturday night.”

Dina stepped in a little closer, a little shyly, and asked, “Do you want to get out of here?”

Ellie wasn’t sure what compelled her to agree, but she nodded and downed the rest of her whiskey. They grabbed their coats and slipped out the front doors, unnoticed by anyone in the room.

They walked across the street to the library and climbed up to the roof, their usual spot from their teenage years. They could still hear the music, a bit muffled and quiet, but it was there. It was much colder outside and snow had begun to lightly fall, but it was a refreshing relief after the stifling heat of the dance floor. Dina didn’t seem to mind either, looking up at the falling snow with her eyes closed, smiling as she let the snowflakes land on her face.

“Um, where’s JJ tonight?” Ellie asked.

“He’s with his grandparents,” Dina said, eyes still closed. Then she opened her eyes and glanced over at Ellie. “They insisted on watching him tonight so I could come to this thing. I’d rather be home with him, but I didn’t want to hurt their feelings so I figured I’d stop by for ten minutes or so. What are you doing here?”

“My therapist thought it would be good for me,” Ellie explained. “I was just gonna have one drink then head out.”

Dina chuckled lightly. “Maybe the universe wanted us to run into each other tonight,” she mused.

Ellie swallowed. “Maybe.”

“How are patrols going?” Dina asked. Ellie hadn’t seen Dina and JJ at the stables in a few weeks, not since the day she tried going out on patrols again.

“Um, I’m actually not doing patrols anymore,” Ellie admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “I’m back at the stables.”

“Really?”

Ellie nodded. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do patrols again. But… well,” Ellie sighed, stuttering over her words as she tried to explain herself. She wasn’t exactly good at talking about her feelings. “I’m trying to take care of myself. Get better. Patrols can be a little triggering, so I— I don’t know. I thought my life would have a purpose again if I was out protecting everybody, but I was wrong. I shouldn’t be out there.”

Dina listened to her speak. She didn’t interrupt or ask any questions, just listened until Ellie had said her piece. Then, Dina said, her voice soft, “Maybe you don’t need a purpose. Maybe you just need to  _ be.” _

Ellie let Dina’s words wash over her and blinked. “That… weirdly makes sense,” she said. Dina chuckled.

The music from across the street shifted into something slower. Wordlessly, Dina draped her arms over Ellie’s shoulders and pulled her in. Ellie instinctively held her hips. She tried keeping Dina at an arm’s distance, but Dina would have none of that. She tugged Ellie closer until they were chest to chest, cheek to cheek.

Ellie closed her eyes and let herself relax in the moment, swaying to the gentle rhythm of the music. Neither of them said anything for a while, relishing in the closeness of each other that neither wanted to admit they missed so desperately.

“I was so mad at you,” Dina whispered after a minute.

“I know,” Ellie breathed.

Dina sucked in a quick breath, hesitating. “JJ cried,” she said. “Every night for two months. After you left.”

Ellie felt the tears spring to her eyes.

“Do you want to know what his first words were?” Dina asked. She didn’t wait for Ellie to answer. “Mama,” she said, her voice trembling. “He was crying. I think he was asking for you.”

Ellie wrapped her arms more tightly around Dina, her grip firm. She held back the sobs that threatened to escape.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie choked out.

“I know,” Dina said. They continued to sway slowly to the music in silence for a bit before she continued. “I didn’t get it, at first,” she muttered. “Why you left us. But I see how you are now and I think about how you were before. It hurt seeing you like that. I felt so helpless because I didn’t know how to help you. And I guess I… I get it now. Why you left.”

Ellie felt her heartbeat slow in her chest. She leaned back slightly, still holding onto Dina, and looked into her eyes. She was crying too. “I thought about you both every day,” Ellie whispered. “I wanted to get better for me, so I could sleep again, eat again, feel normal again. But I also wanted to be better for JJ and for you. I wanted to try.”

Dina let out a sharp breath. Her grip tightened at the back of Ellie’s neck. “I wanted to hate you so badly, but I couldn’t. I just missed you.” Dina’s voice cracked as she spoke. “I still miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Ellie breathed. “Every day.”

Dina hesitated, then brought her hand to cup Ellie’s cheek. She held her face delicately, like she was something fragile, that would shatter and disappear if she gripped too tightly, and stroked her thumb against Ellie’s soft, freckled skin. “Where do we go from here?” she whispered.

Ellie sighed, leaning into the soft touch of Dina’s fingertips. “I can’t promise it’ll be easy,” she muttered. “But I can promise that I will fight for you and JJ for the rest of my life. You’re my family. Always will be. No matter what.”

Dina studied her for a moment, not saying anything. Her eyes traced down her face over her nose, her freckles, her lips. Ellie held her breath, waiting for the rejection that she knew she deserved. Instead, Dina’s voice was barely a whisper when she said, “Kiss me?”

Ellie gave a shaky nod. Her movements were slow and nervous as she cupped Dina’s face in both hands. She felt like a teenager about to have her first kiss, as a weird mix of wonder, fear, and excitement coursed through her veins. She leaned in, hesitating just before reaching her lips, giving Dina a chance to change her mind, to pull away if it was what she wanted, but she didn’t.

When their lips met, for the first time in a long time, Ellie felt like she was finally coming home.

* * *

“Mama!”

JJ ran down the hallway, almost tripping over his own two feet. Dina didn’t even look up from the book she was reading when she asked, “Yeah, sweetie?” Ellie giggled as she watched the interaction from where she stood in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for dinner.

JJ shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “Mama.”

That was when Dina looked up from her book. She gave her son a curious look, then watched as JJ ran over to Ellie and tugged at her leg.

Ellie felt the breath knocked from her lungs. She glanced over at Dina who smiled encouragingly. Ellie blinked away the misty tears that started to cloud her vision and crouched down next to him. “What’s up, Potato?” she asked.

“Shoes?” JJ said.

Ellie glanced down at his feet and saw that his shoes were untied. That was probably why he tripped on his way down the hall. “Yeah, I got you, buddy.” She carefully tied the laces on his shoes then looked back up at him. “There you go.”

“Thanks Mama!”

There it was again. Mama.

Ellie smiled at him. “Do you still wanna come to work with me tomorrow, kiddo?” she asked him.

JJ hesitated. “Play with sheep?”

“Yeah,” Ellie laughed. “Yeah, you can play with the sheep.”

“Play with sheep!” JJ exclaimed, then took off running down the hall. This time, he managed to stay upright as he disappeared into his bedroom.

Ellie let out a shaky breath. She wasn’t sure she trusted her legs right now, so she slowly sat down on the floor, leaning her back against the kitchen counter. She heard Dina close her book and the sound of her bare feet walking across the hardwood floor until she sat down next to Ellie on the floor and put an arm around her.

“Hey, Mama,” Dina said, a small smile on her lips.

Ellie’s emotions were all over the place. She let out what felt like a half sob, half laugh. Tears filled her eyes, but she felt enamored. “That was—“ she stuttered. “He called me—“

Dina nodded. “He did.”

Ellie took a deep breath to calm herself down. “Sorry,” she sighed. “I just— I wasn’t expecting…”

“Hey,” Dina muttered. She tilted Ellie’s chin up to look at her. “Don’t apologize.”

Ellie let out another shaky breath. “Okay,” she whispered. “I just… I’m so happy.” She paused briefly. Saying the words out loud made her realize just how happy she was and she owed it all to the woman sitting next to her and the little boy down the hall. “There was a while I thought I— I didn’t think I’d ever feel this happy again.”

“You deserve to be happy, Ellie,” Dina said. “And you make us pretty damn happy too.” She leaned in, still holding Ellie’s chin, and kissed her. Ellie sighed against her lips. She still couldn’t quite believe that she got to kiss Dina every day.

Dina’s hand moved from Ellie’s chin to her jaw, stroking the skin there with her thumb as she pressed her tongue against Ellie’s lips. Ellie gasped, her lips parting, but before the kiss could go any further, there was a loud crash from down the hall. They broke apart, staring at each other in shock for a moment, before a small voice called out, “Mama?”

“Well,” Dina said, “what are you waiting for?”

“Me?!” Ellie gasped.

“He’s your son too,” Dina laughed. “Besides, that sounds like something I really don’t want to deal with right now.” Ellie glared at her, so Dina pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Go take care of it, Mama.”

Ellie couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face.

“Mama!” JJ called out again.

Ellie chuckled to herself, then pushed herself up off the floor. “I’m coming, buddy!”

It was still hard for Ellie to believe that she was able to call these people her family again, but it was a privilege she wouldn’t take for granted. They were her family, and she was going to spend every single day doing whatever she could to make them happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this fic was cathartic to write, so I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Maybe I’ll write something with a bit more fluff next time!
> 
> Thank you so so so much for reading/liking/commenting. It means a lot.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna talk TLOU2 just HMU on tumblr @elliesgaymachete.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
